Today at work we got an unsolicited e-mail from a job-seeker. Even though it’s what counselors encourage you to do, I can’t do that. Why? Because, well, I think I’d sound like an entitled little snotball. And that’s what I thought of this person with their undergrad in some vague Asian cultural studies major, followed by 4 years on the Program that Shall Not Be Named–time spent with that Program (OK, let’s call it Voldemort, shall we?) explained the “silver chopstick in mouth” attitude. I brushed it off and went about my work.
But much to my surprise, one of my colleagues thought it “might be worthwhile to get a CV off of him,” even though this coworker pointed out several typos and a general feeling that this person knew very little about our organization (which, incidentally, rejected my application for a full-time position, adding insult to injury). I got indignant and it ruined the next 15 minutes for me. So they’ll reject me, but entertain this assclown.
But… all right, I guess I’m being judgmental. Every job seeker looks like a complete tool, including myself, and that’s probably why said colleague treated me with the same kind of indignation I just expressed back in the halcyon days of a few months ago when I still had hope of getting hired here. So I took the opportunity to learn from the e-mail, and took away the following points:
1.) You will sound like a total, utter, insufferable tool in all your cover letters. There’s something about the job search that concocts an otherwise inconceivable cocktail of entitlement and desperation.
2.) If you look like you spent some time investigating what the company or organization does, they might actually overlook the tooliness and take notice.
3.) Watch your spelling, for fuck’s sake.