Hell(o) Work

Hello Work my ass. At the insistence of various well-meaning persons, I went to the employment office to register myself as an incompetent asshat aspiring employee of an environmental company or CSR division. the gentleman I talked to all but wiped his ass with my CV and told me my cute little Business Japanese class was all well and great but utterly meaningless.

As if I were expecting to be employed tomorrow, FFS. I KNOW my level isn’t there yet. It’s as though I have “entitled” written on my face, when it’s not that way at all.

Anyway, I muttered to the Captain of the Douche Canoe that I’d like to see him get work in another country, to which he responded… nothing. Because he doesn’t speak a word of English. and yet, he has the right to lord over anyone who doesn’t speak perfect Japanese.

Judgmental hypocritical prick.


this book is kinda brilliant

I don’t know why my posts about this keep getting deleted, but anyway. Resilience: Facing Down Rejection and Criticism on the Road to Success by Mark McGuinness is… yeah, brilliant. Mainly in that it doesn’t do the kind of Pollyanna, chest-pounding, extroverted “motivational” bullshit that promise that you’ll never feel a negative emotion about rejection again, or imply that you don’t have what it takes if you do. Instead, its main tenet is that it is NORMAL–I repeat–NORMAL!! to feel like an incompetent piece of shit when you’ve been rejected, and realizing this is key to… if not overcoming it, then being able to keep going. Highly, highly recommend it. I have never heard of this author before, do not know him, and am not receiving advertising money of any kind. I’m just saying “hey this helped me, and it might help you too.” Plus, McGuinness. Can’t go wrong with that.




Networking. Ohhhh, how I fucking hate networking. The name itself implies a mechanical quality about it, as if the people around me are just little cogs in a matrix meant to do my bidding, and the job market rewards such a mindset.

as with writing a cover letter, it’s amazing how one can simultaneously come off as an incompetent beggar and entitled little snotball. “Hey, I’m obviously incompetent; that’s how it has come to pass that I am unemployed. Which is why you should totally give me a job.” Image

at least, that’s how I feel about it.

Probably the scarier a networking contact is, the more helpful he/she can be. But therein lies the problem. My former boss is “kind of a big deal” in my field; that’s how he got to be the boss. But that means he’s probably, I don’t know, drinking Scotch and smoking cigars with the President of Vietnam right now. Or something. What the hell kind of business do I have asking him to find me something? In the scenario that plays out in my head, he’s there in a smoke-filled room, and a butler brings out an iPhone. He reads “Hi, remember me? I did a really shitty presentation for you back in January. Unsurprisingly, I am still unemployed and would like you to help me…” He chortles and shows the Vietnamese President, who holds his nose to stop the Glenmorangie from spraying out his nose in an undignified manner. They erupt into laughter characteristic of successful middle-aged men.

OK, I guess that scenario was a bit ridiculous, but that was the point. If I can make my fears a bit absurd, my brain starts to realize that, hey, maybe the reality won’t quite be so bad.